Reese
by Sam Carwyn
She did not see my pain.
She did not see blood.
She couldn’t see that I
knew my body better than
she did.
She did not hear my
suspicions confirmed it was
an ectopic pregnancy.
She never heard the nurse
at my eight-week check-up
say I had been bleeding into
my stomach for weeks.
She never spoke as if
concerned for me.
I did not speak of the loss
for years.
“I chose to have my words written in red to represent anger and blood. Purple acknowledges my power. I know my experience of struggling to get pregnant as a Black woman isn’t unique, especially with polycystic ovarian syndrome being the underlying reason. I recognize that my words represent personhood as that was my thoughts and feelings at the time. Everyone deserves to have their perspectives honored. The only person who should be making decisions about an individual carrying a pregnancy is the person who will endure the physical, psychological, and emotional burden. Too often, the conversation focuses on pregnancy, which intensifies the ache and isolation felt by those enduring infertility.”
Sam Carwyn (she/her) is a 30+ yr old Black cis-woman born in the Bronx and raised in the midwest. Sam believes sharing our narratives has the power to promote authenticity, dispel myths, and reject shame. She has embodied this by producing art focused on health disparities, sharing her story about healing after a sexual assault, being an out bisexual woman, acknowledging living with invisible disabilities, and testifying on taboo topics needing policy reform. Grounded in her faith, she works to advance justice and equity. She strives to create a legacy that will make her son, Gabriel, and bonus kid, Kayla, proud.
Website: https://carwyncollaboration.com